In the field of family law, ADR methods include family mediation and collaborative divorce. They are alternatives to litigation, which essentially involves fighting your partner in court in front of a judge.
The advantages of choosing one of the ADR mechanisms to settle your issues are numerous. Typically ADR options are less costly, and faster than litigation. In both scenarios, you and your partner will sit with each other, in a structured context, and talk things through, with professional help. You will each have the opportunity to explain to the other your desires and concerns on all matters of importance, so that you can ultimately reach concensus on these questions. Think about it: no one knows the situation better than your partner, no one cares as much about your children’s ongoing welfare as your partner, and the two of you really working together to resolve the issues can be a very powerful team. No doubt you and your partner have already experienced success solving problems together during your relationship. It may feel like the stakes are higher this time, but this is one more reason for you and your partner to put aside your differences, and pull together to reach the best possible set of decisions available under the circumstances.
The parties themselves are in control of the pace of events in both collaborative divorce and family mediation. Understandably, one or both of you may discover that you need to deal with strong emotions before you can contemplate sitting together to work things through. In some cases time is all that is required, or you may want to seek professional guidance to help you sort through complex emotions. You choose to continue working with your partner, or ask for a recess, and continue your negotiation process when you are ready.
As long as you have managed to keep your issues away from the courtroom, you are both in the process of winning.
